Thursday, January 1st, 2009
- Due to global slowing, October will come one month after November.
- Crime will start paying, but with high health insurance premiums.
- The dead will rise when a cemetery explodes. Then they’ll fall.
- Bears will become illegal.
- The spell will be broken and Julia Roberts will turn back into a pumpkin.
- Free ice cream for everyone! … Just kidding. Plague.
- Walt Disney will be thawed when they discover a cure for casual racism.
- All forms of currency will be replaced with bullets and pogs.
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