ASP Badass Diary from Hell

I visited Cuil the other day because I love non-sequiturs, and I decided to search for AmazingSuperPowers to see if the lost puppy that is the Cuil engine could find our site. This is a screenshot of what turned up:

Apparently, Godslug is no longer our mascot. I know what you are thinking: “But I love that slug!” and, “that picture isn’t even on the same server as this site.” But Cuil has spoken, and the Slug has been usurped by a girl in a wheelchair(?) who appears to be really interested in what you are saying. At least this will expand our demographic; we honestly haven’t done that much to advertise to the interested-preteens-with-health-problems community.

So thanks, Cuil, for keeping us informed on what certain websites are really about.

Also, we have perma-links.

This is a reminder that our store in Topatoco is full of sexy designs!

Astro-Diver: BFFWhat if the two greatest archetypal explorers of all time were BEST friends? Well, they’d probably do this! They might also get milkshakes, lounge around in a park, go to the arcade, and have sleepovers where they would tell each other scary ghost stories.

Love the Bomb It’s easy to stop worrying when you are soaring through the clouds on a mighty steed packed with equal parts magic and uranium. The tricky part is the landing. Read the comic that inspired this shirt here!

The Penny-Farthing FACE IT! As part of the top-hat wearing intellectual elite, you find yourself the constant target of mockery and derision for your chosen mode of transport! Stick it to the Man with a shirt that says, “Hey world, I bite my thumb at thee.” Read the comic that inspired this shirt here!

Spongesaurus Behold a tribute to the favorite pills of your childhood. No, not your mother’s Valium; instead, these little capsules, when combined with water, unleashed a terrible beast not seen since the Jurassic period. These dinosaurs are terrifying, stylish, and super-absorbent!

(A quick note: Selling these shirts are how we support the rising cost of site without cramming advertising all over it. Sporting one of these beauties is the ultimate way to give us a high-five)

We present the results of the AmazingSuperPowers Super Contest: Anniversary Edition!

Honorable Mentions (Prize: Print of “Tiny Knife Fights”):

Most Actually Shot By An Arrow
“Nice Catch” by Roxanne J., and Decker S.
Recreation of “Nice Catch”
Given these people’s willingness to be shot by an arrow to earn silver bullets, we can only assume that they are in immediate danger of werewolves. Best of luck!

Most Totally Late
“Love the Bomb: The Game” by “chubbthehippo”
Game Inspired by “Love the Bomb”
We received this entry days after the contest ended with evidence that he had originally sent it to the wrong e-mail address, securing his spot as “Latest Entry.” Plus the game distracts our hands from sin.

Play the “Love the Bomb” Game

Most Entries Submitted
Chris P.’s many  Submissions
111 Entries Based on Every Comic
We’re worried about this man finding out where we live.

Best Statistic in a Game
From “Grumpyfish Game” by Ciaren C.
Game Inspired by Various Comics
At the conclusion of this game, the sole statistic provided is “You hit (#) turds.” I guess that would be the most memorable aspect of every adventure.

Click to Play Grumpyfish Game

Most Hulk
“Oh Nuts” by Phil N.
Recreation of “Oh Nuts”
The Incredible Hulk would make a unfortunate prison guard, but a terrifying cellmate. Also featured hardware doin’ it.

The Winners:

Third Place (Prize: Blackmail against Wes and Tony):
“Hungerman: The Comic Book” by Isaac H.
Inspired by “Hungerman”
Not only was this obviously made with love, but it also made us really want a sandwich.

Second Place (Prize: Six Silver Bullets):
“Rebirth” by Will H. and Kate B.
Recreation of “I’m Flying!”
You’ll notice that Will H. is in our Links section, making him a friend of the site.  We were completely objective in choosing our winners, and we in fact received other entries from friends that did not place.  This one, however, was super sweet.

Click to Watch the Video

First Place (Three Shirts from our Store, and an Original Drawing):
“Portraits of Hitler” by Jeremy M.
Inspired by “We All Have Regrets”
We love everything about this, including the fact that a man took the time to lovingly Photoshop Hitler’s head on pregnant women with dramatic lighting, and then send the creation to complete strangers. Then the strangers reward him with shirts and drawings.

Take that, Hitler.

After much deliberation, the contest is over and the winners have been notified! Much appreciation for everyone’s participation in this contest. We’ve heard back from all of the winners and will be publishing their entries at the beginning of next week! Thanks again for all of the wonderful entries!

***

Listen up everyone! Tired of showing your appreciation for ASP by staring at the screen so long that our comics become burned into the back of your eyeballs? We’ve got good news for you! We are officially kick starting our Amazing Super Contest: Anniversary Edition. With it, we are giving you the opportunity to show off your talents and make us look like a steaming pile of fish eggs. In retrospect, that’s not exactly very good for us, but we’re too committed to turn back!

Here’s how to enter:

1. Pick your favorite AmazingSuperPowers comic strip.
2. Recreate it through any medium of your choice. It could be a video, short story, long story, song, poem, series of photographs, single-sentence summary, animation, cave painting, sculpture, or anything else you want. Hell, you could even redraw the damn thing.
3. Send us an e-mail at contest (at) amazingsuperpowers (dot) com. In the e-mail you can attach your entry or include a link to someplace where we can see/hear/taste/have-a-wank-to it.
4. Win! (Maybe.)

The deadline for entries is on October 12, 2008 at the end of the day.

Here are the prizes:

• First Place: All three shirts from our store and an original ASP drawing of your choice.
• Second Place: Six silver bullets.
• Third Place: Blackmail against Wes and Tony. You will receive a manila envelope full of secrets.

A few little details:

• Please include your name in the entry and use an e-mail address that you check often, otherwise we can’t tell you that you’ve won.
• We’ll be posting the winners and other favorites on the site. By entering you forfeit your right to be totally lame and sue us for what we do with your entry, or if you hurt yourself with our awesome prizes.
• If you have a question about the contest, ask it in the comments below. All entries, however, need to be e-mailed to us.
• Please don’t do anything illegal. Ever.
• As many entries per person as you want (but keep in mind we are judging on quality, not quantity), and go ahead and team up with other people if you want.
• Entries will be judged by Wes and Tony, and it will be totally subjective. Winners will be selected on the merits of how much we like it.
• Yes, this contest is for real. Get to work!

One year ago, a little webcomic called AmazingSuperPowers was squeezed into this world, screaming and wailing, an unholy monster conceived by the violent skull-collisions of Tony and Wes. In order to celebrate this one-year anniversary, we’ve crafted a few decorations for your computer so you can infect your screen with our slimy charm. You’ll find a precious little bundle of desktop wallpapers at the bottom of this post.

Meanwhile, we are currently working on a few new shirts, and until then be sure to check out the shirts currently on sale in our store. It’s that kind of support that keeps this site rolling and the good times flowing. It also keeps everyone from seeing your oddly-shaped nipples.

Be sure to check back here on Monday. To commemorate this anniversary even more, we’ll be kick-starting our AmazingSuperContest #2, which will be wicked and awesome and wicked awesome.

The wallpapers!