Archive for the ‘Time Travel’ Category

Myth #1

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

There are a number of common misconceptions around the internet universe. Here is one of them:

Typing a web address in all caps will *not* take you there faster.

100% False. Most web browsers hate to be yelled at, and will hasten their pace to not suffer your wrath.

Instant Europe

Thursday, December 11th, 2008

As part of the ongoing memorial ceremony for the death of the Polaroid, here are a few of the more amusing photos taken from my trip to Europe a summer or two ago. Yes, I did lug around an instant camera and twenty-five packages of film across eight countries. Take your judgment elsewhere.

Seems like good advice.

Seems like good advice.

A few revisions were required to make this more accurate.

A few revisions were required to make this more accurate.

In case you can’t tell, the red sign says “Murphy’s Law.”

In case you can’t tell, the red sign says “Murphy’s Law.”

This sign was facing in the direction opposite to the dangerous step. This implies that instead of “Watch your step” this sign can only mean, “Watch out for falling people.”

This sign was facing in the direction opposite to the dangerous step. This implies that instead of “Watch your step” this sign can only mean, “Watch out for falling people.”

If you had this statue in your yard, no one would mess with you. Mainly because it takes a huge badass to steal a statue from the Louvre

If you had this statue in your yard, no one would mess with you. Mainly because it takes a huge badass to steal a statue from the Louvre

Conversations I Have Had With Dinosaurs

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

Wikipedia holds an extensive knowledge base on dinosaurs. This easily-accessed information is occasionally useful for time travelers such as myself. Each article has a reference image for the sizes of these ancient reptiles. It turns out these pictures summed up my feelings and encounters with these wacky dead lizards:

“Oh, hey triceratops, you are like a James Bond movie; after the really exciting beginning, the rest is pretty dull.”
“Oh, hey triceratops, you are like a James Bond movie; after the really exciting beginning, the rest is pretty dull.”
"Take it easy, daspletosaurus. I'm using that."
“Take it easy, daspletosaurus. I’m using that.”
“Hello, velociraptor. Thanks to Steven Speilberg, I am disappointed whenever I see the real you.”
“Hello, velociraptor. Thanks to Steven Speilberg, I am disappointed whenever I see the real you.”
"I'm going to the store for a few hours. You two play nice."
“I’m going to the store for a few hours. You two play nice.”
"You clearly don't have much dignity so ... uh ... can I ride you?"
“Styracosaurus, you clearly don’t have much dignity so … uh … can I ride you?”
“Hey, Iguanodon. Stop staring at my junk.”
“Hey, Iguanodon. Stop staring at my junk.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Brachylophosaurus, I did not know that you frequented this nudist colony.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Brachylophosaurus, but I did not know that you frequented this nudist colony.”
“Hi, diplodocus. I honestly can’t tell which end I should be talking to.”
“Hi, diplodocus. I honestly can’t tell which end I should be talking to.”
“Howdy, ichthysaurus, I’m pretty sure you’re just a fish. I know I’m not wearing pants. No, that doesn’t make me less right. And it also doesn’t make you any more of a dinosaur.”
“Howdy, ichthysaurus, I’m pretty sure you’re just a fish. Yes, I know I’m not wearing pants. No, that doesn’t make me less right. And it also doesn’t make you any more of a dinosaur.”
“I don’t really want to be here.”
“I don’t really want to be here.”