Best of Spam
on June 14, 2009 at 3:00 amA modest fetid pile of spammy comments tends to build up at ASP. Here are some of my favorites and first impressions (note: all of the links have been removed because if everyone’s penis is enhanced, no one’s is)
“Check out the new Mexican Swine Flu Ringtone”
Does it come with SARS wallpaper?
“Good article, Thanks. Thanks.”
We changed this person’s life with a post about dinosaurs.
“I want to find good pop music. Help me please.”
Are you on an abstract scavenger hunt?
“Amoxicillin….Amoxicillin. Amoxicillin 500 mg facts. Canine dosage for amoxicillin for sinus infection. How quickly does amoxicillin work. Amoxicillin order mexico mexican. Can i drink beer if i m taking amoxicillin?!”
My best guess is that this was written by an alcoholic Wolfman with sinusitis.
“Is the museum open on Sunday?”
…sure. But they might close an hour earlier.
“Good afternoon! Escort Model information there. Fish-girl men. I am pleased to welcome you to its website, prostitutes and Fish. You can visit my blog.”
You, sir, are a pioneer.
“Good article, Thanks. my name Philip.”
My name Phillip. I bring porn links.
“Prozac…prozac…”
These are the mumblings of depressed zombies.
Where do I find that Fish-Girl porn site?
Dammit! No teasing!
I don’t find myself using the phrase “lol” a lot because it dumbs down the English language and, frankly, I don’t tend to laugh out loud when I’m surfing the internet. In this instance, however, I’m willing to give this posting an unabashed “lol.” I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done to me.
Damn! I’ve been scouring the ‘net for a good Mexican Swine Flu ringtone. There are so many crappy imitations out there.
Gracias. Gracias.
Big Bird is hungrrry.
Good article, Thanks. Thanks.
one word
ROFLCOPTERS!!!
I just got one this morning
“Couple Friendly Porn – 7 Tpis For Introducing Female Friendly oPrn Into Your Relationship Cheese thief nabbed in cemnet mixer geetaway”
Finally! Cheese stealing pornography that is relationship appropriate!
Every relationship should have a “relationship cheese thief”. Always get consent befor inserting female friendly porn into your cheese thief, and keep it away from cement mixers.
Actually – is a “relationship cheese thief” a theif for your relationship who steals cheeses for you, or a thief who steals all your relationship cheese? I guess your opinion on which is better will depend on how you feel about hot cheese.
i got spammed by Mr. Phillip Batman today. I want to meet him.
Why can’t my website spam be this good. The closest I’ve gotten has been “chicken burrito pussycat dolls”
Shit… I have no idea what that random collection of words is, or means, but damn it made me laugh!!! That was hillarious… Especially the zombies!!!
hmmm what can i be a pioneer of….hmmmmmmm… halp! xSDDDD
Great article; I’m actually looking forward to going and emptying out my spam folder now…
ROFL seriously man! That’s a great sample of assorted spam! I should read them more instead of blindly deleting them…
I agree!
Spamming is a serious business! After all, it is difficult to be idiotic, illogical, insane and indecent. And especially when you are dealing with webcomics, you are graced with the presence of many spammers. Arg yeah, they deserve some sort of ‘bravery’ awards 🙂