Holidays Are a Dish Best Served Cold

by Wes & Tony on December 25, 2008 at 7:00 am

Right now I’m living in Portland and we are getting a copious amount of snow. It mostly chooses to attack at night, much like other unsavory things such as vampires, wolves, and fraternities.  Snow is falling from the sky and hiding our cars.  It is covering our roadways with ice and selling cocaine to our children, or at least getting them accustomed to frequently hearing the word “snow.”

nomorecar
That’s a 1996 Honda Lump.

There is the common myth that the Inuit people have dozens of words for snow. It is also true here, but 90% of them are swear words. The other 10% are racial slurs and unpopular dictators.

Anyway, in between the twelve inches of Hitler falling from the sky, we did a Christmas comic. Our apologies if you don’t celebrate Christmas. If you want to simulate the Christmas Experience® to determine whether or not it’s for you, nail your sock to a wall then sprinkle tinfoil all over the dead tree that you dragged into your living room. Happy Holidays!

Meanwhile, I’ll be here, battling through this cold white oppression. If you are from a place like New York or Moscow and this is common for you, at least your infrastructure is prepared for this. The only human contact I have right now are the two snowmen I built near my backdoor. They are terrible conversationalists. Also, they are bigots.